Thursday, February 24, 2011

Sample G : "It Gives You Wings"

Why this argument moves me...
1. I really enjoyed how the writer connected Red Bull to our society. Energy and power do characterize Red Bull and well as our society. 
2. I like how the writer suggested that Red Bull can be for anyone, not just young adults.
3. I liked how the writer mentioned he colors on the can and logos/slogans. 
4. I liked how the writer mentioned the "I Love Energy Drinks" page on Facebook. 
5. The writer did a lot of research on the product which helped to back-up the argument.
6. I liked the "Door Close Button" argument. I agree, because sometimes I find myself trying to get the elevator to close faster. 


Why I am inert/unmoved....
1. There are grammatical errors throughout the piece.
2. The MLA citing within the essay was wrong. 
3. I don't drink Red Bull, so I wasn't interested. 
4. Red Bull is not healthy and although it advertises liveliness, it should not be used for that.
5. It would have been nice if the writer included a little bit more of their own experience with the drink.
6. I liked how the writer mentioned "Red Bull's Wings", but it got to be a little repetitive. 

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